I Am a Grown Woman, But I Am Also a Growing Woman

​I am a grown woman.

I have lived enough life to know that not everything deserves my reaction, not everyone deserves access to me, and not every battle is mine to fight.

I have learned to make decisions for myself. I have learned to walk away. I have learned to say no without explaining myself a hundred times. I have learned that peace is sometimes more valuable than being understood.

But being grown does not mean I have figured everything out.

I am also a growing woman.

There are still parts of me I am discovering. Parts of me I am healing. Parts of me I am learning to love without judgment.

Some days, I am confident. Other days, I question myself.

Some days, I know exactly where I am going. Other days, I am simply taking the next step and trusting that the road will reveal itself.

And I think that is the beauty of becoming.

We are allowed to outgrow the woman we once were.

We are allowed to change our minds.

We are allowed to admit that something we once wanted no longer serves us. We are allowed to choose differently. We are allowed to begin again at an age when people think we should already have everything figured out.

I don’t want to be so obsessed with appearing like I have it all together that I forget to give myself permission to grow.

Because growth is messy.

Sometimes growth looks like leaving.

Sometimes it looks like staying and setting boundaries.

Sometimes it looks like forgiving someone.

And sometimes, it looks like forgiving yourself for the things you did when you were simply trying to survive with the understanding you had at the time.

I am a grown woman, but I am still learning how to be the woman I want to become.

I am learning that strength does not mean never breaking.

It means knowing how to put yourself back together.

I am learning that independence does not mean never needing anyone.

It means knowing that you will still be okay if someone chooses not to stay.

I am learning that wisdom does not come from knowing everything.

Sometimes, it comes from knowing that you don’t.

So yes, I am a grown woman.

But please don’t mistake my age for completion.

I am still becoming.

Still unlearning.

Still healing.

Still dreaming.

Still changing.

Still meeting new versions of myself.

And I hope I never stop.

Because I don’t want to arrive at some imaginary destination where I have nothing left to learn.

I want to remain curious about life.

Soft enough to feel.

Strong enough to leave.

Wise enough to listen.

Brave enough to begin again.

I am a grown woman.

And I am a growing woman.

Both can be true.

And perhaps that is one of the most beautiful things about being alive:

You can become someone new without betraying who you used to be.